Mood: embarrassed
Music: Elton John, Love Songs Album
No word from my new found Aunt.
No pictures of my father came.
I have no strength to ask again.
Laura…found, there… yet not.
Finances, screwed, seriously screwed…
Miserably inept at solutions save bankruptcy.
Child support, removed, gone, na da.
How does he always win ? I dont know.
Yet they remain in school, graduation looms.
Prom, Pictures, Dresses, Cap and Gown, Parties.
No gift to give her. No car, no laptop.
What then of college ?
She must dream and know I hear them.
Failure is mine.
I know this to be true.
Rosie O’Donnell has a blog.
She posts her thoughts and people think she is sad.
It’s not all Disneyworld out there even if you are rich.
I read Rosie’s blog everyday.
She is prolific, wonderfully verbal.
But don’t search her out unless you are a fan.
There are enough gay bashers out there already.
Crafting…
Enjoying making things people love to wear.
Wishing for more time to experiment with clay.
Selling a few pieces and hoping it is because
they are coveted and not a pity purchase.
I just don’t know.
Confidence is gone.
Sadness and shame mingled with trying
to be ok highlight my days.
Children need to know there is a problem, yet
they deserve to know it will be alright in the end.
It will get better. Jan says so.
She is my rock, my love, my strength.
Someday soon she will fall apart, as I have.
I will hold her just as sweetly.
Breathing deeply, as she does for me.
