Late night ramblings.

Everyone is in bed.
I just came in from work 2 hours ago.
I worked a four hour shift to help out.
6 to 10 pm. Patients were waiting for 10 hours
just to get an ER room. No exaggeration at all.
The hospital is maxed out.
As much as I would have liked to assist
those who complained over and over again.
There is nothing any of us could do.
It is a full moon.

I’m glad to be home, glad the house is quiet.
Everyone, Jan included, must get up early and
start their day. I get time to be alone.
Prep for graduation must be completed.

HGTV keeps me company as I sit and wonder why
I have been silent these last two days.
A co-worker fussed at me for not blogging.
She is an avid reader. Likes to read mine.
I was flattered with the complaint.
And so I oblige.

Part of the reason I have been quiet is that
Katherine and I had an argument.
I couldn’t let it go immediately and
didn’t want to complain here about it.
Lets just say we both thought the other one was
being a bitch. We both were.
Jan jumped in and told me to calm down.
She became a bitch too. I slammed the door and
chose to isolate rather than fight further.
It all left me a bit tired.

It was all about the book fine and the dress that
the father bought. It actually is a skirt and a top.
A non descript skirt and a shell of a top.
Plain, awful and all he would do.
Unacceptable to both Katherine and I yet,
that wasn’t said to her father.
I got to hear it and make it right.

So yes, here we are right where I knew we would
be all along. Four days before graduation
searching for a blouse worth a damn.
I refused… Jan took her.
All is well. Except that the skirt needs taken in.
It is a size too big and will fall to the floor under
her gown as she crosses the stage and inhales
to breathe. Wont that be a cute thing.
Her father sucks huge things…
I guess I’ll be sewing tomorrow.

Total for the book fine… drum roll…$89.00
I’m just sick.

I saw Gwen tonight.
(Ex-therapist, current friend and crisis counselor
at the hospital ER I work in) She jokingly asked
where Jan was…when told, she stated that she
didn’t think we worked without each other.
Bite me Gwendolyn…
For the record. The weekend shift was mine. Jan changed
her schedule to work with me. Jan is stalking me.
I once was accused of stalking Gwen, looking back I
probably did. Not in the sense of a dangerous thing…
But yes, I had a real problem with boundaries
once upon a time. Who would have ever thought that, given my
lovely upbringing and all. I had a crush… what can I say.
That is years in the past, but still, I adore her.
She literally saved my life and made me care enough
about myself to heal the abuse issues.
You don’t forget that.

Speaking of huge…yeah I did say huge
somewhere up there in reference to my lovely ex.

Sunday we were sitting in the lounge at work
eating with a few other co-workers.
This new employee ate and then went off to the bathroom.
She came out complaining that since her by pass surgery
she cant eat without losing it. If you get my meaning.
Someone muttered some compassionate statement.
At that point she jumped at the opportunity to tell us all
just how HUGE she used to be. “oh yeah, I was HUGE,
I was 253 pounds, size 22 !”

Kindly no one said a word. Now granted this woman
is much shorter than me… I am six feet tall.
I weigh right at 260. Size 20-22.
I am HUGE ! Evidently. Bitch…
I could lose my fat too if someone cut 3/4
of my stomach out.

I don’t think she ever got a clue.
The deafening silence was only broken
(A supportive silence on my behalf.)
with yet another rendition of just how
HUGE she once was. I left the room.

In closing, this is what I thought about
on the way home…
(yeah I am weird… some would say queer.)

I know and sing every word to the rock opera
Jesus Christ Superstar.
My children as a result, do too.
Not just the main parts, but I can sing
even the minor roles.
The same is true for Evita.
I love musicals.

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating.
I drum. I love the drums in songs I hear.
I am the geeky one singing and drumming at
stop lights. I love driving alone with the
sound up way too loud. It is heaven.
Tonight’s musical choice.
Linda Eder, the Gold album.

By the way.. the above mentioned
“huge” story is said in a joking manner.
I find it hilarious..in retrospect.
Actually anytime I call someone a bitch
here it is either me joking or a compliment.
(unless of course I say I am pissed)

(those are smileys…meaning it is a joke ok?)

There LM…Happy now? I blogged…