9/12/03

And Ruth said…
Intreat me not to leave thee,
Or to return from following after thee;
for whither thou goest, I will go;
and where thou lodgest, I will lodge
Thy people shall be my people
and Thy God, My God.
(A reading from the Book of Ruth)

On this day, 9/12/03 Jan and I stood before
many friends and few family, professing to
honor and cherish each other for all time.

It was in a moment of insanity that after
four years together we bowed to peer pressure
and set a date for a public ceremony.
The ultimate Martha Stewart test for me.
It was an extremely trying and rewarding time.

I found excellent resources on line for lesbian
ceremonies and fell into this task with great
enthusiasm. The fact that I was supposed to
walk down the aisle in front of 75 people
did not fully hit me until the day before.
Lets just say I imploded as the hour grew near.

It was a family affair, the children joined in
assisting with plans and projects.
It was Katherine’s idea to include a favor of a
magnet that read, “I survived my first Lesbian wedding”
They were a hit and still adorn the refrigerators of
our friends.

My family did not attend. We were still lost in the
estrangement brought on by my mother’s death.
Jan’s sister and brother in law came in from North Carolina.
Our Georgia friends Linda, Tom, Crystal and Kevin
not only attended but helped us with setting up and
supporting us wonderfully. They were all amazing.

I have written here before that we have too
many anniversaries. The day we met February 1999.
The date of our first small ceremony April 1999
and the big celebration on this day two years ago.

I remember it all, the music so carefully chosen.
A memory candle and song in honor of our mothers.
Rows of people who came to see us profess our love
for each other. This 90% straight crowd that cried.
We heard over and over that this was the most
beautiful ceremony they had ever been to.
They weren’t referring to the decor, they meant
the heart. We were pleased to have them experience
that emotion with us.

I wanted to pass this day by with little fan fare.
Our abundance of holidays to celebrate needs to be
whittled down. But I find upon waking that I do
remember with great fondness and even a tear or two.
That magical day will be a part of us for all our
lives and deserves a heartfelt mention.

I said this on that day and now say again,
in remembrance, in assurance and in love…

To Jan:
Loving you is a symphony,
A melody so intense, it fills you.
Causing goosebumps and the desire to
close ones eyes, increase the volume
and be consumed.

I can only try with each passing day
to fill you just as completely
with the music that is my love for you.