I’m shrinking
November 27, 2007Little by little my pants get bigger.
It’s hard to wrap my head around it in a way.
Oh, I’ve wished it and prayed for will power
over the years. I’ve been ashamed and indifferent..
I’ve pretended to try. And honestly tried too.
Turns out what was needed was simply peace.
When I met Jan I weighed around 180.
A tall woman with a wild mane of red
curly hair on a large frame. It is who I am.
She loves me because of how I appear and
because of who I am.
With her arrival I had a reason to eat a full meal
with her and my children. Prior to that I ate in
spurts, when we had enough I ate, when we
didn’t I picked and pretended to. It was
no big deal, just the way it was. I wasn’t going
hungry! But when you marry, you eat regularly.
The pounds follow if you aren’t very careful.
Six months ago I weighed 270.
Today, 220ish…
I no longer fit into my fat pants.
Weird!
We went shopping for me a pair of pajamas today.
(yes I’m taking the nightgown she loves me in
too but a girl gets cold sometimes!)
I chose a set to try on in the 22/24 size I wear.
They fell off of me. I’m an 18 it seems. No really.
An 18! All you thin folks have no idea what that
means! I can shop in a regular store.
What made the difference? Moving, up and down
the basement stairs to the studio. Becoming
engrossed in work and forgetting I haven’t eaten.
Being happy with what I am doing. Being fulfilled.
So, I have a way to go, I only just recently
bought a scale and put it in a room I rarely visit.
I don’t want to be a slave to it. It was a lovely
surprise to see the clothes difference. I don’t
need to work at it. I am just grateful to be on
the way to where I want to be.
180 sounds great to me!
I never found the pj’s I wanted at Cato’s but
I found a yummy neopolatin ice cream colored
striped sweater that I just had to have LOL.
It has a hood and really long sleeves.
————————
We are packed and trying not to leave right
this minute It’s Tuesday 5:30 pm as I write.
We will leave at 5 am. 12 hours from now.
Can you tell I am ready to go? LOL.
We did the bank thing, paid bills, gassed up
the car to the tune of 36.00. Bought road snacks
(Funyons are a must!) and cleared out the living
room DVR for a week!
When I write next I’ll be staring at the ocean
as I do it. Wish all of you could join us.
What a blast that would be!
Crown Reef, South Myrtle Beach (springmaid)
Oh how wonderful that you can shop in a regular store. I’m still not at that point, but I’m trying!
Have a safe trip to the beach. I love living near the ocean! I grew up at the Jersey shore and while moving back here was never my intention, I’d always planned on living near the ocean. I just ended up back where I started - at the Jersey shore.
I’m so excited for you and Jan. You both deserve this amazing vacation so much!
Your recent weight loss shows that you are heading in the right direction. Not only for your body but your spirit too. I think when you feel better about your self, you take better care of the body your soul lives in. I’m glad you’re getting there.
Oy! I wish I was going to a beach! It’s -27C here this morning! Have fun and be safe!
Congratulations! I struggle everyday with losing weight & I think that your accomplishment shows it doesn’t have to be such a struggle. Being happy and passionate about your life means food doesn’t get to be priority #1.