Working, writing, living

I finished the glass work and clean up of the butterfly finally.
I am pleased with the result. The grout will finish it off.
It will be a challenge to grout. I’ll wait to do it until I finish
the sign below that I have been working on.

This will go at the bottom of the drive way and needs to be big
enough to be seen from the road above. It’s 20 X 30 inches.
Just a quick loose mosaic. The lettering was a fun challenge.
More education for future commissions.
I have another commission piece cut and ready to begin.
I have ordered a special accent tile for one part of it
and will start when it arrives.
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I have been writing, so many thoughts flowing whist I work.
Things I need to work through from the past that seem
to have come to the forefront lately.

I risk being honest with people regularily. It is odd to me how very
many people would rather have a superficial relationship in which
nothing at all is revealed or discussed. And so I do risk saying
what is real for me. Then I spend a terrified night sure that I have
said too much and will be rejected. Often that is the case.

There was a time when friends knew each others last names.
Wanted to know each other’s secrets. You could talk to that friend
about your spouse, or your wildest fantasy and they would listen,
understand and share their own. I mourn the loss of that openness
within others. I struggle with being the odd one who is still willing to
risk losing someone rather than have a superficial relationship with them.
I do the same here blogging, share more than others. I believe the
human condition demands to be explored. How else but with honesty.

I want that for myself. I want that kind of confidante and I
want to be that for someone else. Of course I am with Jan
but I also want that with my friends. Or selected ones.

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Did anyone think to tell me that menopause can be a great thing?
You hear the horror stories, but I have been plagued with an
increased sex drive that is quite wonderful. Who the hell
has been keeping that secret? And why? My spouse is happy
and I don’t really want to complain about it. But can we find
a happy medium here somewhere?
I’m fu*king tired, and yes, that pun was intended.

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LOST (tv show) is back and better than ever!
We have been tied to the TV this week with American Idol back
in full force as well. Which is a nice change since the writers strike
nothing has been on. Between my own angst, an over active libido and
too much TV I am not sleeping well. A nap may be in order for me.
But if I sleep now I will be awake half the night. Getting older sucks.

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Todays’ studio music, Bette, Bathhouse Bette.
Excellent old CD! I fished it out of the drawer this morning.
I still remember every word.