Kisses and angst

My daughter had her first kiss from Brandon yesterday.
We were on our way back from HotLanta and she called
to ask if he could come over to the house and drive her
to work after school. An empty house.
I trust her completely not to go too far.
She is 18 on Friday, seriously, it’s about time for a little
feel me up for the kid. (I’m going to hell for sure)

So last night when she got home I asked if they had kissed yet.
She had been looking forward to that moment.
I had already heard about the holding hands and the sweet things
they do and say to each other. It’s all so damned cute.
She smiled and said yes, and that it was his first kiss ever.
I said, how damned cute is that you each got a first kiss from
the other. She told me that it wasn’t her first! What?
How did I not know this? Because it was with a boy she didn’t
really like, “Brandon’s kiss is the only one that matters”.
They seem happy with each other.
If he breaks her heart I’ll kill him.

We had a fast trip to Atlanta, home by 5, left at 9 am.
The glass store is truly heaven for me.
The people there talk to me like I know what I am talking
about. Which I do, but around here, this art form is
not well known and most people have no clue what it takes.
It is wonderful to talk with people who KNOW. The owner took
me into the classroom and showed me a new adhesive film
that looks promising. I am looking forward to trying my sample.
The glass is just amazing. Varigated and lovely. I found two
exceptional pieces for my recent commission.

Which is for Jaded! As you have probably surmised by our
conversations here. Not sure why I haven’t said that except
that it doesn’t matter that it is my friend. I will do the same
work if I don’t know you. I am thrilled to know that she wants
a piece of my work, a piece of me really, in her home.
It will be a piece I put my heart into just the same.
I cant create any other way. Half assed is never good enough.
In anything.

Thanks Jaded, you know I love ya.

We stopped part way to Atlanta for donuts/muffins at this great
store we found in Cartersville GA on a trip some time ago.
We try to stop whenever we are hungry and in the area.
They went out of business! I was sooo bummed!
So we continued to the glass store looking for food all the while.
No one could decide so we went on and did our glass shopping.
Very hungry by now, we were all determined to find food before
we went to Ikea and had to eat at their restaurants.
(which aren’t bad actually but, been there, done that.)

Finally decided on a hot wings place in Marietta, good food,
I was just thrilled to be eating.
My stomach was highly pissed at having wings, mild though they
were, for breakfast and proceeded to give me an IBS afternoon.
Try driving home from Atlanta with major cramping. Not fun.
We got home and I left Jan and Becky to unload as I spent the
next few hours in the bathroom. I hate my body.

I did get great pieces to mosaic on at Ikea. Glass vases that are
square, but short and squat, picture frames which sell quickly and are
fast to construct. A glass lamp with an interior bulb that will look
so good with stained glass shining through. I may not be able to
give that one up. Tea light holders for little 5 dollar pieces to sell
at the market in the spring. Cheap stuff, all of it.

Now to just find the time to do it all. These people (my loving fam)
have me running most days, then there are house responsibilities,
finding something for dinner…. you name it.
I just feel like there is never enough time. Jan goes to bed most
evenings without me. She gets up early for work, I get up early too,
but I am up until 1 am most nights. I have to finish this or that,
or just want five minutes where I don’t have to DO for someone else.
So my “me time” ends up being between midnight and 1 am.
Back up and 6 or 7 am to start again.
No different than you I am sure, just needing to vent it today.

What if you sent a snail mail letter, and invited someone to
reconnect via email if they like and they don’t reply?
Pretty self explanatory huh? It is sad to me.Very sad.
This is something I thought was my friend.
She loved me in the past, I know this. Why?
Just why?

Jan could say the same; as several friends in SC who begged to
keep in touch when we visited, have yet to reply to any email
from Jan. These are people she loves too. I don’t understand
people anymore. It makes becoming a recluse more and more appealing.
I think I’ll just be the crazy woman who never leaves home and plays
with glass in my old age. Certainly no family or friends will seek me out.
It all just really pisses me off. I want to say, hey! I am worth it people!
I’m not a bad person, really, maybe a bit eccentric, but I thought you
liked that about me!

sigh, huge sigh….
off to work and listen to something mean LOL
Perhaps, Dreamgirls, love me, love me, love me!
damn it all.