Market closing

As a stay at home mom/writer/artist/yada yada…
I find myself alone a lot. I don’t really mind it usually.
It used to be wonderful to touch base with Jan
at work a couple of times a day but now it is
flu season and there are too many patients for
lunch even most days. I remember it well.

She comes home exhausted. Last night
she had problems forming words. So much so
that I gently suggested that she stop talking
as I was having to decipher every sentence.
So we watched a movie.

(ok honestly what I said was “Argh you are making me
crazy trying to figure out what you are saying!
Go watch the DVR please!” She did and found that movie
in there and I watched it with her! But it was
said in humor and fun… okay, while trying to shut her up.)

Anyway, back to me… LOL
So I am alone and music is my companion.
It is a dream state to be in. And yet there are
times when I am very lonely. Not alone in the world,
just basically lonely.

I was working toward opening at the Chattanooga Market
in the spring. Both for the income and to see people.
To be around artist types in person instead of just on line.

http://www.chattanoogamarket.com/

The Chattanooga Market is local venue for handcrafted
items that is very popular. The link above is what was,
their website. They will not open this year. WTF!

I am a bit upset by this news. I had really planned
on selling there to bring in an income while at the same
time marketing myself to tile installers for back splashes
and the like for the bigger bucks. This would allow me
to create what I love on the side while taking on these
commissions on a regular basis. That option is now out
and it looks like I’ll have to work harder to find venues
for my work.

Or get a “real” job as they say.
Which seriously would kill my soul.
But really, I have been living this dream position for a
couple of years now and I know I am about out of time.
Just simply because I don’t know how much longer I can
live with watching how tired Jan is from having to support me.

The kids pay rent, it has supplemented my lost income to
a certain extent. With that also comes added responsibility for
me with them still living here. There is no getting around that truth.
While they are young adults, young would be the operative word.
One car is paid for, another just a few months shy of that,
so that too helps.

Damn it I go through this all the time.I do this to me.

On another note… a lovely little piece is forming for the
dear Jaded. I love it so much.

Off to do that, because I know more than any where else
I am me there. It doesn’t matter if I am alone, I actually
prefer it in my space. Visits are lovely, but I long to say,
“go on now”… after just a short while.

Bigger here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scribbleandscribe/

Have a good Sunday…