Vita and Me

A while ago I decided to re-read the letters of
Vita and Virginia… and they have been lovely
to visit again after so many years. I first read
most of them as a single mom, wishing for that to
be me. For my Vita to find me… I was Virginia then
or Violet. The true love of her life. Full of dreams of
romantic love.

The latest netflix for us happened to be the
Masterpiece Theater’s production of Vita’s son’s
book on his mothers marriage. Jan and I watched
it together last night. As I did, now with her here,
I realized that the woman I most resemble was not
Violet (or later Virginia) at all, I was more Vita.
The unsure female, prone to masculine qualities,
but also loving being a woman and all that it entails.
I am less likely to wear a suit surely, but in feeling,
in character, and yes even in body type I am so
like her. It was lovely to watch with Jan and see us
in their love. To visit that time, what it was like to
hide their feelings and yet I wonder if they really
minded so much some of the time. They led exciting
lives. Of writers and poets, triangles and jealousy.

Nothing I care to visit in my own life, but fun for a
wild fantasy or two…

The end of the story leaves us hanging, but history
tells us that Vita moved on to Virginia Woolf and
Violet went on to have a long relationship with the
daughter of the Singer family fortune.
(who was one of 24 children!)

So look up Vita Sackville-West and
Violet Keppel while you do a search for other stuff.
Their lives are worth a read. Wiki them if nothing else.
You wont be sorry.
——————————-

I’m back in mom driver mode today with Kate at
driving school (yeah!) and Hilary at work.
I’ll be heading out again to pick them up.
I stopped by a shoe store and bought cheap
work out shoes and socks. I also needed smaller bras,
my fricking boobs went first with my weight loss as usual.
LOL!! I don’t care, Jan doesn’t care. It’s all good.

I also found a sarong for a swim suit cover up.
I feel pretty good about it all, surprisingly.
I had my new suit on yesterday and asked my 22 year old
son if I would embarrass him at the beach. He said no LOL.
I am impatient to get on my rowing machine but they said
not for 10 days! It’s only been 5 so far.

So while I was waiting for the shoe store to open I went
to see Jan at work. (Like a mile a part and a half hour to kill.)
I was amazed at how my weight loss has changed how people
talk to me. There isn’t another subject out there evidently.
I am always hit with those same questions, how much have you
lost and how did you do it. But then… they kind of act pissed
at me for doing it. So I steer the conversation to them and it
always comes back to me because someone else will walk up
and there they go again! I was asked today if I took pills or
had surgery! Uh, no not by choice.
So I think I need to stay away.

Jan and I bought a scale that I can actually read from 6 feet away
(that’s my height and the 5 dollar ikea one was a joke really.)
So last night we also wrote it down and measured our body parts.
Fun stuff had Hilary not been wielding the measuring tape.

Hilary has lost 24 pounds already! Kate and Jan weigh the same,
one pound difference actually; and so they have a bet going.
Now to get us all using the weight balls and rower.
There’s skin and muscle to tone!
I saw my collar bones yesterday.
Without needing to breathe in deeply to make them appear.
There they now are. Weird stuff I tell ya.

I’m okay.