I hold my friend.
May 8, 2008She wasn’t the friendliest person.
Prone to drama and rages.
Several here in my home even.
But there was good in her too.
Listen, she died, but I still wont lie.
She was a troubled soul.
I hope she can now finally rest.
What I know is that she was loved and she loved Becky.
That was all that ever mattered to me.
We cared for her and love her spouse of ten years.
We have had a connection to Becky since day one.
We all met when Jan and I went home for my sister’s
wedding. They also know my sister, Paula did.
Becky was new to my sister too. We all got to know
each other and all future visits included meals and
visits with them as well. They came here a couple of
times too. On their way through to somewhere else.
And so today we mourn her and wish for the time
and funds to be able to go there and support our
friend during this time of unexplainable grief.
Paula died the way she had planned to. At home.
Two days on hospice and she is gone.
Becky is strong. Amazing really. Both families are
there supporting her. Putting her first.
Becky says that Paula’s mom wrote the obit
which will be in the Holland Sentinel tomorrow.
A temporary one is there today.
(actually I guess it is tomorrow as I write this, it’s 2 am)
The mother in law had a hard time accepting their
relationship. But through the years she grew and changed.
She learned to give Becky and the relationship the respect
they all deserve, and showed it by writing of Becky as her
partner today.
Not a lie, as is the norm in this very religious town.
Bravo Paula’s Mom.
It is what she would have wanted you to do.
I am surprisingly very upset by it all.
I am not sure why. It just takes me to all the
people that once lived there that I have lost.
And the people that still do live all around there
that are no part of my life now. It is a sad place to
me now. I don’t look forward to even passing through it.
The more I think of it, the less I want to.
This is not my loss really, and am looking for no
condolences to come my way. I just needed to
write it so maybe I can sleep now.
I worry about my friend tonight sleeping alone.
I wish to hold her close and listen while she cries.
Good night. Sleep Becky.
Obit
I know you’re not looking for condolences, but I am sorry for your loss. I’m particularly sorry for Becky’s loss. I will hold Paula and all who loved her in my prayers.
You are indeed a good friend.
My thoughts are with Becky and all of the people in Paulas life.
We never know the scope of how someone has touched our lives until they are no longer with us. Although she is Becky’s loss, she is also lost to all who loved her. My thoughts are with you today that you get through this as best you can. When I lose someone, I tend to re-mourn every loss I’ve ever had, it just seems to bring on more sadness. Cling to those you love, they will be your support. Much love to you.
Your thoughts were beautifull written. It kinda makes me sad, Like most of us good, kind folk, no one likes to learn of another’s passing.
I will say a quiet prayer for your friend, for you, in this unfortunate, sad time.
hugs
Shaney
I believe this hits so close to home for Annie because Becky and Paula live in the same town as Annie’s Mom. They lived the same way, with the ravages that cancer brings. They also died the same way at home in the loving care of hospice.
Annie could not be there for her Mother’s death. The call was received too late to make the 12 hour drive. It is no ones fault. Her family blamed her for many aspects of her not being there through her Mom’s illness and death. Her brother forbid her to be there for her Mom’s funeral.
We did not listen to him then and never will again. That is a whole story in itself.
Anyway, Paula’s death brings sadness to myself and mostly to Annie because of circumstances surrounding. Also, sadness for Becky as she and Paula were loving partners, soulmates for 10 years. I can not imagine the pain, the loss, the aloneness of losing Annie.
To my loving spouse, partner and soulmate Annie….I love you for all time. I am here for you and you for me. I hold you close and cherish our love and commitment to and for each other.
Those moments of reflection and impact are so hard…I’m sending many good thoughts your way, Sweet Annie.
Thanks everyone,
I am fine.
Just reflective.
Working and doing my thang.
So as to snap out of it.
Thanks for keeping Becky
in your thoughts.