Shaping me.

I don’t wish to go into angst mode today over the
fact that it is Mother’s Day. My mom has been
gone for some time now. It’s been a week of
loss already and I just cant do it. She is
thought of and missed of course, of course…

But there has been too much angst and regret
in my life lately and I want it to end.
Or be put away at will in the least.

There are no special plans for today.
It is more than fine. I am tired of activity.
Hilary wont be home until late evening.
Kate works from 2 till 10 pm and John Paul
works as well. Jan will be at the hospital
7 to 7 today too. We will all meet here
tonight for a late celebration of our
years spent loving these children so
easily.

Kate is moving out and Hilary is finishing
high school, all before the month is out.
There is sadness and angst yet to come.
For today I want joy. And so I will go to
work.

———————

Happy Mother’s Day to you all because whether
or not you have given birth to a child, there
is someone in the world that you have parented
in some way. I know this because I was one of
those kids that was parented by many.
No, I wasn’t a foster child.

But my mother and I got along best if I took
frequent vacations. It was a gift really.
I learned to be an excellent visitor in
other homes. I learned to be helpful and
earn my keep. It ensured a longer stay.

I also found family in each place I was sent
or opted to go to. From early childhood with my
God Mother Mary, to friends homes where I would
stay a week or more. It was normal for me.
I didn’t know that all children didn’t do this
for a long time. Over nights yes, but not a week
at a time.

I learned then that it does take a village.
In my case, it was a very good thing.
Many in my village shaped who I am today.
For that gift I thank them all.

From early on to today. Teachers, friends,
therapists, mothers of friends, lovers,
all of them. In me. Shaping me each day so
wonderfully. Sisters by choice, parents to
each other at times, loving guides through
life. Mothers every one.

My Mother.
Mary Evert
Miss Garten
Sharon Rosenburg
Sandy Martinez
Dotty Banks
Marlene
Laura
Cathy
Gwen
Sherry
Jan

Roxy,
Jaded
Carie,
Traci,
Pat,
Jenny,
Kimmy,
Judith,
Carol
and more…

All my love to each of you.
My profound thanks for loving me so sweetly
and not so sweetly. For being willing to take
me in, for teaching me and guiding me on the
road less traveled I tend to tread upon.

It is my stubborn way, but you come along
with me anyway. It is why you are so adored,
each of you. Thank you,
Just Thank you.

A

—————————–

Does anyone hear from Lightfeather?
If so, please wish her well for me
and say hi please. I have been thinking
of her. Sending the blog link is fine too.

—————————–

The Solitude piece is sold! Now I have to
get it finished and shipped. OH! and did I
mention that Jan got a great raise? It wasn’t
even a pitiful insulting raise. We were very
pleased. It’s about time, as she does so much
extra there and gets nothing for it most of
the time. The extra amount she was given over
and above what others got is a wonderful
compliment to her.

—————————-

Jan, because I know you will read
this at 5:30 am when you wake to go once again
to give it your all. Happy Mother’s Day Love.

Thank you for loving them, for being someone
I knew from the first minute I could trust to
not only care for them, but my cake in the oven
as well. Even though you did leave the cake in
the oven a little long. When I returned, the kids
were fine, as I knew they would be.

To thank you, I kissed you that first time there
on the deck that day we met. Forward wasn’t I?
I haven’t changed and neither have you.

You are still that loving mother I married twice
for good measure. My heart lives within you and
yours inside me. You are an amazing mother.
“Thy people shall be my people”

(the pups say happy mommy’s day too!)
I love you Fred.

—————————–
Have a wonderful day all.
(And thanks to my men readers too!)

(someone else just emailed me and wants the piece
that I just sold. Solitude.
I told her I could make another, but very different.
I suggested she tell me where she goes to have
that peace and I would put the figure there.
Will let you know! How exciting!)