Mossy honesty
July 8, 2008Savannah memories…
There is just something so magical about these massive
oak trees and the moss that gathers there on it’s own.
It is a sight in Savannah that I never tire of.
Most streets have draping tunnels of trees lining them.
In these trees, this lovely mossy view is prominent.
Below them, rich grass or the ever present Azalea’s.
In March you can taste the moss in your throat, the pollen,
the Azaleas are in full bloom and brilliant. It is also much less
hot to walk around all day. The down side is that you don’t get
that ocean time. At least not in a swimsuit. But we also enjoyed
just walking there when we visited for Coroner conferences.
Windbreakers and all. So I cant decide which season I like better.
I believe it is a toss up. I think I want to go in late May. I think the
best of both worlds could be had then. Another year…
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And so I continue to wake each day vacillating on whether
or not I can go to Michigan. Do I even want that. There is
so little asked of me, my life. I fear more of the same.
I have given up sharing any of it due to lack of interest or
reply. I know I must trust that once we meet, they will feel
some deeper connection that will allow them to have that
interest. I don’t trust anyone easily. Thus my daily angst.
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The other issue is that Jan and I still smoke.
Not in the house… it’s a start. Not as much as we used to.
We are comfortable with an occasional smoke. I am sure
they will be disgusted by our occasional trek outside.
Oh we will be highly respectful of the space, the land…
But we will smoke. Already… less than, before we arrive.
Because all smokers are you know, less than.
We hear it every day.
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And so I fret… over all of it.
I wish I could just decide not to go and live with that hurt
I caused myself. But I cant do that. I have tried saying it.
I have told Jan it. We are not going. Only to say later…
I need to get such and such before Michigan. Or she will
say something about something we will do there and we
know that we are still going. This has been true for three
months. I am exhausted by it. I am saddened by it as well.
Honesty…
sometimes, it just sucks to have this need to ooze it.
I am going to play in the studio today.
I need a project.
We got both of these in St Augustine, the box is
metal inside and inlayed wood on the surface.
Its about 6 inches wide. and 5 inches tall.
It is very unique. That was my gift to Jan.
The piece in the rear I fell in love with and Jan bought it for me.
It seems to be painted and glazed glass. At first it looked fused,
but it isn’t. I love the image…I think I’ll mosaic it and see if I can
capture the sweetness this artist did.
It is 8 inches square.
If you’re vacillating this much about it, there has to be a reason. Trust your gut, Annie. Seriously.
You girls are still smoking? Promise me you’ll quit? Not today or tomorrow, but when you are ready.
The smoking thing… NOW I’ll preach.
Annie, my mother died at 55 from pancreatic cancer — due to smoking. It was horrible. It was also VERY selfish of her to deprive her children and grandchildren from her — ALL because she wanted to smoke.
My mother died one month before Chloe was born. Irene’s surprise baby shower: the DAY my mother died.
My children always talk about “Grandma Sandy” and are sad they never got to meet her.
Smoking over grand-kids. Selfish.
My uncle Billy: he’s actively DYING right now. Guess why? You got it. SMOKING.
He had throat cancer last year, and three weeks ago he was diagnosed with IN-OPERABLE lung cancer. In both lungs. His wife and children (my aunt and cousins) are beside themselves. All are distraught beyond words.
So there. Amen heartinhand. People love you two TOO MUCH to have you kill yourself with cigarettes. You are both too young to die.
Now (off my soap box) UNBELIEVABLE PHOTO!! Those trees are beautiful. I have never seen anything like that before. It looks like something in a Star Wars movie (Yoda, in the woods/swamp area). Jan’s photo?? Amazing.
Oh, you are not “LESS THAN” — you are “MORE THAN” — more than loved.
Just ask your children.
Blessings.
I love that piece with the mother child pose…its beautiful…I have a bunch a willow tree pieces that are mother and daughter themed…I think that piece done by you would be amazing…
I wish I could help out with words of wisdom for Mishigan, but I have none, only that you know what you want and when it counts you will do what is right for you
love the moss covered trees, they are so beautiful
Hi my sweet friends.
Annie, though I am blisfully unaware of the situation involving your Michigan trip, I would like to say just one thing. For your own peace of mind, do what is right for you. Regardless of the outcome, you will never truly know what that is should you decide not to go. If there is even a slight chance you will regret your decision that itself is enough reason to see it through.
I am only giving this advice through my own mistakes of the past. Naturally you can tell me to jam my advice up my rear end. Just figured it may help some.
That old oak tree is that ‘Grandfather’s Beard’ hnaging from it’s branches? If so it is one of my most favoured plants. Very hard to get here and quite expensive.
Nate & I are also trying to quit/cut down on the ciggies. It is a difficult test in one’s will power. One we have both shamefully failed with on several ocassions. But we still have hope that one day we can mind over matter the habit. People thinking we are less than them for smoking, just shows the lack of good character in many people today. They fail to see that we have respect for them. I never smoke around a non-smoker. Does not stop them from scowling.
It will be interesting to see you mosaic that piece you pictured here. To see the difference. I am sure it will be lovely.
Anyhow, hope you both have a wonderful week and an exciting weekend ahead. My B’Day celebrations start on Saturday Night. And I hope keep on going long into Sunday!…LOL
Take Care
xoxo
Hey Miss Annie!
Since a certain person thinks you are going to burn in hell for your “sin” of being Gay, I say why not enjoy the occasional cigarette before you are doomed to a life of eternal damnation?
As for the trip to MI, sometimes the past is better off being just that: The Past.
And because I love you so, I’ll be sure to smudge your blog with some sage before I leave.
x0×0x
OMG! Blogzie!!!
I feel so special to have such
kind attention from you.
The sage is most welcome…
As is your visit.
You are missed.