Resignation

You know how sometimes you resign yourself to life
dealing one set of cards, and you just accept that
the dream you had for more wont happen. You grieve
and then pull yourself back up.

You settle and move along. Still wishing for that gentle
touch you once felt, but being ok with the memory of it.
Feeling fortunate for what you did have, knowing that
most people don’t even know that much of love or life’s gifts.

And then something shifts and clarity is found.
One communication tells you that the dream is not lost.
That touch is felt again and absorbed into you, a warmth
settles there where resolve had only just lived.
Pushing hurt away, pushing fear aside.

She who seemed lost is found again, her smile remembered.
Her heart right there, offered still. And I reach to take hold
because there, I am at peace with life. No longer adrift.
You learn to allow each of you to be flawed, human and loved.
————————-

Working today…
looking forward to my time with my glass.

I am sore, from the pond dig, my hips are so painful
from all the bending and squatting. It has to be a good thing…
I know I moaned in the night as I turned this way and that.
Fighting for a comfortable spot. Jan would pat my leg in her
sleep. As if to say, I’m sorry you hurt honey. It was highly
sweet. I wasn’t aware of any of this until this morning as I
thought about my crappy night. I’ll have to apologize for
keeping her from good rest!

We had a lovely two days, outside work, much passion in all
we did. A moment on the office floor… Just sayin!
It was amazing and lovely to feel her so intensely after a
horrible month of hurt. To see without a doubt in her eyes
that I am desired, loved and appreciated. We are getting there.
Each day of honesty better than the last. I am loved.

Today’s progress. No More Flowers!! Geeze!