As we wait…

Jan is still not sleeping. I feel her get up in the
night and that wakes me to ask if she is alright.
I think the trip has a 25% role in that and new
meds the remaining 75%. She was put on two
new drugs that upon closer research can cause
some insomnia. So we will have to get those adjusted.
She has been on an appetite suppressant and a mood
altering med to help with the whole Peri-meno issue.
I think both are utter failures if they keep her awake
so she is just cranky and walking around like a zombie
from no sleep. I suggested that she take neither for a
few days and see if that helps. She did sleep some better
last night. Hopefully tonight will be even better.

I’m doing fine. Mostly just excited now. The angst of these
months of waiting has been replaced by utter excitement at
being able to do this alone with Jan. We so enjoy taking off
from here together. I am so happy that Laura was found
when I was with Jan and not years ago when I was married
or even single. I needed her undying support of me that I
wouldn’t have had from “him” or when I was alone.

The weather reports from there look crappy. We have been
waiting for the extended forecast window of time to see what
it will be like. For packing purposes and the like. Rain and storms
that keep shifting days… I don’t even care. Although I may
need a new umbrella since mine is in the ocean in Florida!
—————————-

I haven’t worked much except for playing around with an idea
in between running errands and appointments. I cant seem to keep
any kind of focus down there right now. But I am working on the
Mother and Child in those moments where I need art to calm me.
I crank up the music and just sit in my space alone. I am glad to
have this piece in mid construction for that purpose alone!
I also decided to try a more realistic shading on the mom so it
is taking longer there too. I am having fun with it. Painting with
glass. My friend Carol is a master at it. I use her photos as aides!

I am so grateful for the internet and the ability to connect with
other artists that I would never get to meet. hmmm not to mention
it helped me find Jan. And Laura. And my father.

I understand the worry people who are novices to the Net have.
I understand that it can be a scary place. But the good far outweighs
any danger here. More so for teens than adults. If you are careful.
There will always be those who choose to wander about and open
wounds (or cause them) just because they can. Because they can be
anonymous bullies. Jaded went through that, I have too. It hurts
just as real as in person bullying does. People with problems of their
own, trying to feel all powerful by hurting others. I still think that
there ought to be a central office of a sort where you can report
these bullies and have their internet shut down. Not some abuse
address that never gets read. It is the only fault of the net I think.

———————————
Things are coming together nicely, the little gift we ordered for
L and G came out so beautifully. I wish I could show you!
Jan brought home several hundred dollars more than I expected
we would have for the trip. Her savings program at work was a
godsend for this purpose. We will be able to do everything we
want to do and then some. I can not properly describe what all
this means to me. What she has done for me through all of this.
It all just touches me so deeply I can not form words to express it.

I know is has been hard for her. Because we were having problems
at the same time I was talking about and to Laura each day.
I am sure some of those issues were because of it.
But she hung in there each day and smiled for me, even when she
worried I would fall in love with her. She smiled and told me how
happy she was for me. My God, how lucky I am. I know this. I do.
I did not fall in love with Laura. I love her the same as I always have.
My love for Jan, for our relationship, our family, could never compare.
Life is so good people. Just so good.
——————————-

I have to pay bills today and do a few things around here in prep
for the trip. Not to mention home maintenance! A storm blew a tree limb
onto my gazebo. It’s the neighbors tree. I know he has to have seen it
laying in my yard but he hasn’t come over to see any damage or move
the damned thing yet. It’s been days now. There is no damage to the
gazebo but it is laying across our short fence and I cant lift it by myself.
I’ll have to catch Hilary or John Paul today to help me fling it back into
his yard and let him deal with cutting it and moving it. I’m not doing it.
He is a nice guy, great kids that play there by the tree on a swing.
I know he is probably just busy and will get to it. I just don’t have the
time either right now.

I also have a website update to complete for a client. But getting the
info to me has been a chore. A new employee who doesn’t know what I
need sent to me in order for me to get my work done. I am tried of
emailing this new secretary who doesn’t have a clue. I have to get this
done before I leave. I am telling everyone that I am going to be without
a computer. I wont be, but they don’t need to know that. I deserve a
break from clients too! I’m taking it whether they like it or not.

Shout outs and love to:
L and G… Kidder the cat still on Vacation. Get your ass home!
Jaded, just sending my love. I am here.
Camille, we are with you each day.
Becky in MI, see you soon!
Jenny, We are with you too.
Carie, you are our little sister and we adore you.
Roxy, you impress me so much! Watch this woman tile!

Have a great day!